Most people you meet on a dating site are exactly who they say they are: someone hoping for good company, a bit of fun or a lasting relationship. But a small number of fraudsters set out to exploit that hope, and this month brought a timely reminder of how they work.
On 20 October, the UK investment platform AJ Bell published a list of ten red flags for spotting a romance scam. Its head of personal finance, Sarah Coles, said fraudsters "cruelly exploit people's trust, optimism and need for human connection, to steal vital savings and investments", adding: "It can be devastating for people both financially and emotionally."
Why people over 50 are a target
AJ Bell says scammers often go after people they believe have access to money, such as older people with pensions and those in mid-life with savings. It encourages families and friends to talk openly about the risks, particularly after a bereavement or a divorce, when someone may be starting to date again for the first time in years.
It is also a myth that only the naïve get caught. AJ Bell points to research from the University of Warwick which found that victims were often well-educated, middle-class people with a trusting nature. In other words, being caught out says far more about the skill of the criminal than the good sense of the victim.
The sums involved can be serious. As we reported last week in what over-50s really want from online dating, Lloyds Banking Group figures show people over 65 accounted for more than half of the money its customers lost to romance scams.
Five warning signs to watch for
Here are five of the red flags on AJ Bell's list, with a few thoughts of our own on each.
- The profile seems too good to be true. Stunning photos, an impressive lifestyle and interests that match yours almost perfectly. Real people are lovely, but they are rarely flawless. A free reverse image search, such as Google Lens, can show whether the photos appear elsewhere online under a different name.
- Love arrives very fast. Often called "love-bombing", this is when someone showers you with affection and calls you their soulmate within days. Genuine feelings take time to grow.
- They want to move away from the dating site. A request to switch quickly to email, text or another messaging app is a classic tactic. Sarah Coles advises people to "stick with the messaging section of the app, so there's a record of your communication." We agree: keep early conversations on the site, where you can also block and report anyone who makes you uneasy.
- They are vague about their own life. Ask friendly, detailed questions about their work, family and home town. "Don't let them get away with being vague," says Coles, warning that "if they fob you off, they're hiding something."
- They never quite manage to meet. Scammers often claim to be working overseas, offshore or in the military. It gives them a ready excuse for not meeting, and often, later on, for needing money.
The hidden emotional cost
AJ Bell also highlights something that often gets overlooked. Victims frequently feel embarrassed, may withdraw from family and friends, and can find it hard to trust again once they discover the relationship was never real.
If this has happened to you or someone you love, please remember that romance fraud is a crime, not a personal failing. Talking to someone you trust is an important first step.
Our wise owl habits for safer dating
These simple habits, taken from our dating safety guide, will put off most fraudsters:
- Keep money out of it. Never send money, buy gift cards, transfer cryptocurrency or share banking access with someone you have met through a dating service. A dramatic emergency or a promise to repay you does not make the request any safer.
- Protect your details. Do not share passwords, one-time security codes, identity documents or your full financial details, and avoid revealing your home address too soon.
- Notice pressure and changing stories. Be cautious if someone avoids video or telephone calls, gives stories that do not add up, or keeps making excuses not to meet.
- Meet safely. When you are ready, choose a busy public place, tell a friend or relative where you will be, arrange your own transport and leave whenever you wish.
- Talk it over. If something feels wrong, mention it to a friend or relative. A second opinion is one of the best scam-stoppers there is.
If you think you have been targeted, contact your bank straight away and report it to Report Fraud at reportfraud.police.uk or on 0300 123 2040. In Scotland, call Police Scotland on 101. You can also use the blocking and reporting tools on the site. For the full checklist, read our practical dating safety guide.
Don't let the scammers win
None of this should put you off. The great majority of people looking for love online are genuine, and knowing the warning signs means you can relax and enjoy getting to know them. Take your time, trust your instincts and let real connections grow at their own pace.
If you are new to it all, our guide to senior dating in the UK is a friendly place to start.
Sources
AJ Bell, How to identify the signs of a romance scam, as reported by Brit Brief, "UK households warned of 10 romance scam red flags by AJ Bell", published 20 October 2026. IBTimes UK, Lloyds romance scam data, published 26 September 2026.
© 2026 Wise Owl Dating. You are free to reuse this article, in whole or in part, provided you credit Wise Owl Dating as the source and include a link to www.wiseowldating.co.uk. This permission covers the article text only, not photographs or our logo. The article is published under the Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 licence.
About the author: Ernie S writes news, views and lighter pieces for Wise Owl Dating, the UK dating site for the over 50s and part of the Cafe Dating Collection.